Spirituality would seem to be like anything else that is worth having. You have to work for it. I used to be willing to, but not lately. Gotta find the spark again. I'm sure I've hidden it myself.
Mike 5:26 PM
Monday, June 02, 2003
I wonder if anyone reads this part. My spirituality is in the toilet. It disgusts me when people use religion as a tool of hate. Some people of faith can seem so nice until you get to their bigotry. The Bible says homosexuality is wrong, it does not say to hate homosexuals, it does not say to treat them with disrespect. The Bible tells us to love one another. To treat others as we wish to be treated. To love God with all our hearts and minds and to love our neighbor as ourselves. I know some homosexuals who are a lot more together than some straight Christians I know. ;-)
Instead of doing those things, some will cover Lady Justice with a curtain because she, in her beauty, is bearing a breast. Some believers drown in side issues. Hanson, sadly, said it best. "Where's the love?"
Prayer escapes me, a sense of God's presence escapes me.
I'm not depressed.
I'm not unhappy.
Just sort of wondering.
I need to get back on track or maybe just on track as I'm not sure if I've ever been on the right one.
I know the basics of my faith, I understand the foundation. It's the implementation that's a bit screwy. I'm troubled by the hatred spewed by some people who share my faith. Jesus only seemed to get pissed at the religious leaders of the day, those who tried to use God for their own purposes, tried to use religion to oppress the masses.
Is it hard to love someone into the Kingdom of heaven if they are just another notch on your Bible?
Mother Theresa said, and I paraphrase, "If you spend all your time judging someone, there is no time to love them."
But then I've known protestants who think Mother Theresa went to hell because she died Catholic.
Whatever we believe. Whatever we pervert. Whatever we destroy.
People try my faith. Why do they have to treat others like crap? Why do some people who claim to be of faith treat others so poorly? I'm not perfect, but I try to love others and treat them as I want to be treated. Some folks make it pretty difficult though. ;-)
My Grandmother passed away at the terrific age of 98 in 1998 actually. In the week or so before she passed on, she was peaceful and content.
The Following was taken down by my Uncle and later typed by my Mother hence the references to Grandma as Mother.
This happened several days before Mother was on any medication, so her mind was free and clear. Bob sat for 2 1/2 hours and recorded what Mother was saying. She had been talking and laughing for a total of 5 hours, but Bob only got this much as he thought it might occur again.
Through all of this Mother had a big smile on her face. She was very happy, giggling, laughing, singing and smiling. The songs she sang were: Jesus Wants Me For A Sunbeam, Let The Little Sunshine In, and Jesus Loves Me. These are songs she sang to us, and her grandchildren when we were little.
Mother's vision on the ceiling 2/21/99.
Would you like to just leave it? Oh look at the eyes, she's a little girl! Would you rather not go, you know I'm use to it? Are these all people here? Bob look at them. (and she would point to different places on the ceiling) What? Laughing,... Look over here, look at this here. You're a cute little fellow, a nice fellow who does things for them. Since Bob won't be there.... Now where did he go for the stuff that he got? Look at this little girl here, you're so sweet ... singing. Let The Little Sunshine In ... (same as she did with Kelly when Kelly visited her) Then sang, Jesus Wants Me For A Sunbeam Would you take my headache away? Did you call? The minister is talking to all the people. I think it's so nice that you're all here, let the little children come. Maybe I can make a little money. Where are we going to go... it’s so lovely? She sang, Let The Little Sunshine In Prayer Lord, help me, am I ever going to see this? Pointed to the ceiling in 3 different places, I love you, I love you, I love you. You're going to be a lovely man. Oh I love this: singing Jesus wants me to shine Look at this, isn't this pretty? Sang, Jesus Loves Me This I Know Are you walking here, (towards me)( she reached out her hand) **You only know when you can see. You are all sinking around me, I can feel it. It's not easy to take me. Oh, a baby, can I see her? It won't be too long before I'll be there. Oh Lord I'll be so glad.
The rule for all is perfectly simple. Do not waste time bothering whether you 'love' your neighbor; act as if you did. As soon as we do this we find one of the great secrets. When you are behaving as if you loved someone you will presently come to love them. •
I promised that I would talk about my current spiritual journey and I will, but first I must write of my day and why it's days like this that make it harder to believe.
Today was utter chaos. Two fellow supervisors called off and I'm sure they were legitimately sick, but we were totally screwed. I honestly would have walked out if I had another job lined up.
The good news is that I am seriously considering going back to school and completing some sort of degree, more than likely involving computers in one way or another.
First off, I believe what I believe. I make no excuses. I was raised going to church, and always assumed I was a Christian. When I went through confirmation (around age 14) I was asked to make a statement of faith. There was no "conversion", there was no talk of any real spiritual relationship, so I assumed I was a Christian. Around 19 or so I became a camp counselor at my church's camp. I made a very good friend that summer. His name is Simon and hewas the camp nurse for a couple of weeks, we had many serious talks. I was into Zen at the time and he was impressed that I knew so much about it and that I was so well read. Gradually in our discussions God began to have an influence on me. Simon and I talked about all sorts of things including the Bible, which I was in to because I thought I was a Christian. Now, before this point, my idea of reading the Bible was to read the 23rd Psalm on occasion. As God led me through the scriptures I kept checking things off, things that made sense to me. After several weeks it dawned on me that I hadn't been a Christian, but that I was now. I went through a phase after that where apologetics (defending the faith) were very important to me.
